Warm Wynter

If you go to my school, then your first period teacher on Monday told everyone to sit down and shut up, because they had something important to say. And by the way they said "Something important" you started looking around the room to see who was missing.

"It is with great regret I inform you of a student attending Dunbarton high schools' death. Over the weekend Jordane Wynter Passed away. There will be grief counseling in guidance and a service on Wednesday. We will try to keep you informed of any new about the funeral. We hope your prayers and well wishes go out to the Winter Family in their Time of Need."

That Day I saw About One Hundred People Crying.

And If you go to my school, that's all you heard.
"It's Jordane not Jordin"
"I heard he was in gangs..."
"I heard he did drugs..."
"I heard it was a hate crime."
"I heard his appendix burst."
"...Lungs collapsed"

Who are you hearing this from? Why Are you telling it to other people if you don't actually know? Where did this come from?

____________________________________________tuesday.

"As you may have heard yesterday, we regret to inform you of a death in our school. Jordane Wynter Passed away over the weekend due to blood clots in his lung. We hope all of your prayers and well wishes go out to Jordanes' friends and family. Grief Counseling will be provided by the board in guidance."

Yeah. So Up Yours, rumors. It was Blood clots. Stupid rumors, Blood clots who'd be dumb enough to listen to you anyways? He died. He sounds like a nice guy from what my friend told me. Blood clots killed him. She didn't really know him but she had talked to him before a couple times. They'll get her too.

What?
The blood clots. The same ones your mother has, in her lungs. The antibiotics gave her blood clots when she was being treated for Kidney cancer. She has them too. Not any more but when she goes back, she will. She'll be on blood thinners again. She won't be able to fly on a plane or sail. She won't be happy any more. And then She'll die. She'll die unhappy. She'll die cancerous, taking blood thinners and she won't be happy. That's how it'll kill her, didn't you know?
Shut Up. This isn't about her.
But that's why you cried isn't it? That's why you almost left your classroom, that's why you couldn't laugh at the awkward jokes told to try and change the atmosphere. That's why you almost walked into the library, that's why you asked again how he died, isn't it?
Fuck. Can't anybody die without me thinking it's her next? Oh god.

Don't let me be right.
Don't let me ever be right.

_________________________________________________________________________wednesday.

They Moved his table today. It used to be in front of guidance, and it had a whole bunch of big cards and pictures. The every card was covered. My friend wrote on it. I guess they had his funeral.


__________________________________________________________________________everyday.


Did you ever notice that when someone dies, they suddenly become the most perfect people? All of a sudden they're popular and everyone knows them and they don't have flaws. I hope it's not like that for me, I hope people say things like "Do you remember when she said she would beat up that Katlyn girl when she told everyone Alice was an agressive bitch? Hahaha, she's all bark, no bite. She's too much of a coward to hurt someone. But at the time, I didn't doubt her."

I know I didn't do everything right and I've hurt people's feelings, but I don't want those parts taken out of my life. That's probably about 50% of my life, I don't want it to just dissapear. In my will I will have a requirement that everyone has to say One bad thing about me, and if they can't find something or they do a cop-out I'm going to haunt them in the after life.

Such is this,
Alice Dotty

Chanson Du Jour: Tomorrow - Avril Lavigne

My prayers and sympathy go out to anyone who knows Jordane Wynter, his family, or his friends.