It's Not far Away, but For Now we Say:

Peace.

i know this pretty rave girl.

Cuba is coming up, in 100 DAYS! I'm super excited.
Bunking with Best friend since G.2, Kayla : )

Anyways, I'm Getting in shape by playing DDR on Heavy with a long sleeve shirt (Cotton, to catch the sweat) a sweater, leggings, thick socks, and sweat pants.
But I'm drinking plenty of water, no need to worry.

But I really need to start eating less at meals and eat more often. And stop snacking!
Here's my commitment:
Nothing but Water and Tea.
Make dinner when I get home, eat half of my serving then, and half when everyone else gets home.
No starch at night, and
More watery and dark green veggies.
And PLAN MEALS AHEAD.
THERE.
that's my diet. : )

Such is probably going to fail, shortly.
GO ALICE!

Chanson Du Jour: My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
; )

Vrai Ou Foe?

I met a girl last year through a friend and we became fast friends. I'm not going to mention her name because even though She'll probably know who I'm talking about, I don't want everyone else to know.

Anyways, we connected because we were both different and found a sense of community in that. But this year, she's made a bunch of new friends and even though we still talk, it's not as much as before.
And I'm getting really tired of her, it's exhausting to be her friend.
She's always upset. Always. She comes to me, vents, I give her advice, she doesn't take it, says something rude, I ignore it because she's upset, she does the same thing a week later.

She's been cheated on by every boy she looks at, and one boy said "we were never dating" and she was like "Yeah, sorry I overreacted" when she told me that they were dating for a week and she found out he had 5 other ONLINE girlfriends.
and then he said stuff like "they're crazy, I love you." So yeah, definitely SOUNDS like you weren't dating the SECOND TIME HE DID IT.

so she stopped talking to him, or else I would have beaten both of them.
But now theyre friends again, and her latest addiction is mad at her.

He's from far away, they met on Myspace, and the lies he's told her are as follows:
1) all of these pictures are of me
2)I have a child (Not sure if he does, but at one point he said both so either way he lied about something)
3)You logged on and told me mean things.
4) Oh, then it must have been your friend
5) I'm not dating someone else
6) I love you
7) I'm killing myself tonight
8) I attempted suicide last night
9) I'm moving into a psych ward.
10)I'm comming to visit you

and they ALL HAPPENED AT DIFFERENT TIMES. (except 3 & 4) and it hurts her deeply, or she pretends it does, and she's depressed for like, 3 days, then she forgives him and he does something else.

SOMETHING TELLS ME TO DROP HIM, FUCKTARD! And they got in a fight and he's "Deleted her, and his last 5 statuses were about me, and he says he wants to kill me, then himself"

And I'm so angry at her, this happens every time and she won't listen to what I say, plus she was rude to my friend, plus she 'falls' for every guy that says she's cute, plus shes rude to me.

I'm admitting to you, random strangers, that I have eczema. My skin flakes around my eyes and bridge of my nose, I see it, I know it's there, I try to make it go away, but it's eczema. It doesn't just go away when you put cream on it 3+ times a day.
But she seems to think I don't know its there so she constantly reminds me "Put cream on your face. It's gross." or "you're not wearing enough makeup." and will make fun of me because "What the point in wearing makeup if people can't see it?
It's supposed to enhance natural beauty, not make you look like you got in a fight, dumbass.

I am SO mad at you right now! I cannot believe you're talking to them again! Why do you even care? Why don't you care about your friends? Do we not say you're pretty enough times in the day? So here it is.
FUCK. YOU.
I'm done.

Such is how she is!
Alice

chanson du Jour: Friend or Foe by T.a.t.U.

BLANK NATION

Chemical nation,
Fast food Nation,
Blah blah blah.

Show me some support,
Show me something to change.

Just don't sit on the couch watching people fatter than your admittedly fat self and complain about being fat. Try getting off the couch and stop watching those shows and then you'll see a difference and you'll get some right to complain.

Gosh, It's just about the stupidest thing.
I told my parents I want to diet, I mean I'm not over weight and my BMI is almost perfect, but I just wanna lose some weight around my waist and thighs, what's so wrong with that? don't shove me down cuz I'm tired of taking that. Either you support me or you don't, so just choose and get on with it, I don't care anymore!


Going through my notebook I read something I wrote:
"Be there or don't, I don't care what you think anymore. Your mouths move so often it's hard to focus on what you're saying; you've lost my respect."

Such is how they are.
Alice.

p.s. I'm going Snowboarding with Alessandro, Michelle Scho, and Katherine tomorrow.
We're stalking another one of Michelle's crushes.

Love Me When I'm Gone.

I'm different Now.

My Hair is short,
My teeth are straight.

I'm getting in shape,
I'm learning,
and teaching
and getting by,
and getting through
the day,
the thick skull,
but to you.

I'm finding
things I've lost
new ideas
but I'm happy just to be finding out.

I'm looking
older,
Up,
and for someone.


I don't know, Maybe I don't care.

In the Mighty words of Aqualung
"I never understood before,
I never knew what love was for,
My heart was broke my head was sore."

I don't know,
the winds pick me up and the snow makes me smile, but the sun comes out and shows me things are different where you are, and I wonder if it's better.
I want you to grab my hand and pull me and take me somewhere I haven't seen before.
I want to take your hand and take you to the tree where I learned to sing, and where I learned I'm Human,
and learned I'm lonely.


When I'm sick I want someone to ask "Where's Alice?" and when I'm sad I want someone to ask "Do you want to go for a walk?" because I don't want everyone knowing.

And I want to have someone to ask "Where are they?" about, and when they're sad I want to say "Come with me." Someone to talk about problems and good times with, in a way that I can only do with them.

I want us to dance together, watch movies, enjoy nature, enjoy each other.
I want silences and non-stop chat sessions and I want to be giddy when they're around.

But more importantly, I want us to meet.

Such,
Alice Dotty, The Lonley.

Chanson Du Jour: All I Wanted - Paramore.

Recipe for Christmas

I spent yesterday on my feet. Got up early, (8) went to the grocery store, bought things for Latke's, loafs, cookies and peanut butter cups.

Then baked 2 batches of oatmeal cookies and 2 batches of Reverse Peanut Butter cups.

did laundry, did dishes x4, cleaned basement.

Robin, (Sister) did nothing so I yelled at her.
Went to Tae Kwon Do.

Today, woke up, baked two cranberry-walnut Christmas loafs. (Even though I'm sick) then I got cozy in bed and listened to music and floated away until I felt well enough to move.


BUSTER (my dog, beagle mystery mix) went to the groomers and now he is SO FLUFFY YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE IT. HAHA. Omg, he's 10x bigger. : ) He makes me smile everyday.

Oh the Holidays. How they stress me more than a super-loaded semester.

But But But! What got me through it was Tokio Hotel. <3
Yesterday, all I listened to was 98.1 Lite Christmas Carols. Ohhhh no, so tired of freakin winter wonderland. You have no idea.

So when I got up and realized "Shit, I have MORE fkin baking to do?" I didn't want to listen to carols so I got my iPod (and put it off the Christmas playlist) and the first song to come on? Ich Liebe Dich - Lukas Hilbert

and I just found out it's by Lukas Hilbert, Not Tokio Hotel : (
Shit. Whatever, it's still a good song. Thanks Lukas <3

Kinda disappointed in how it is,
Rainy

Anyways.

Watchin' 50 Moments that changed music on Much Music (Canadian MTV, for those not-in-the-know) and something was said, and I was like "Yeah, I should write that down, cuz I juat put a new spin on it, but I gotta think it out more." but I didn't write it down and I forgot.
But I recorded it, so I'll rewatch it. ; )

mmkay, so here it is:
Talking about Eminem's song Kill You
"I’m ready to make everyone’s throats ache. You faggots keep egging me on till I have you at knife point, then you beg me to stop?" and another one that goes "My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge. And I’ll stab you in the head, whether you’re a fag or les. A homosex, hermaph, or a transeves. Homophobic? Hey fags, the answer’s yes. Nah, you’re just heterophobic.”

Yeah, oops.
Uhm, so, what was I talking about? Yeah, he didn't apologize, but he gets on stage at grammies, I think, I dunno, I never pay attention to award shows, why do I care what's most popular? I mean, If My artist is nominated I hope they win so other people will listen to them, but I don't freak out about it or throw a party.

Anyways, so he gets on stage and he doe Stan which is one of my favorite songs by him, and instead of Dido singing the chorus like on the track, Elton John comes out playin the piano and at the end they hug and Em doesn't even care. He definitely respect Elton John even though he's openly gay (I mean, He's wearing a 70's canary Yellow and Pimpin' pink polkadot suit)And then they go on and say he didn't apologize for the lyrics.

I think that it's partly cuz for a rapper, especially one like Em who's facing racial issues he can't show weakness, and those are the breaks.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think he shoulda said anything like that, but I think that coming from where he is I think that was apology enough.

But that's not my big Idea, I'm thinking more along the lines of part of being unprejudiced, is more along the lines of you're unprejudiced to everyone.

Let's say A man walking downtom on the street wearin' a 70's suit in pimp pink and canary yellow polka dots gets hit by a car.
Obviously everyone's going to assume Hate Crime Hate Crime Hate Crime! Sexist! Homophobic!

How bout the guy was walking down the street? I mean, this man, not necessarily gay but dressed to the stereo type is walking ON THE STREET. Just because someone's fighting the world doesn't mean they're perfect, in fact most of the time they crack under pressure and do something stupid.

Have you read Black and White by Eric Walters? Do It. It's a little kiddy but it's good.
[White boy, Thomas (Narrator) has a crush on Denyse, a black girl. He goes to her church, a black church, and her father delivers this sermon.]

"I read the newspapers yesterday," he began. "They call it news but nothing in there seemed to be new." He paused. "The same things keep happening. Again and again and again. The night before last, a young man was killed by a police officer. The young man was black. the police officer was white."
I felt a shiver go up my spine as people yelled things out--"Isn't it always that way?" "Wheres the Justice?" Suddenly I felt much whiter and much more alone.
"The young man who was killed was Twenty-one years old, the age of my oldest son. He could have been my son, but he wasn't." The pastor paused. "But he was my brother."
"And Mine too!" Yelled a voice.
"And what of the policeman--the white policeman--who fired the fatal shot? What is to become of him?"
"Nothing!" screamed an angry voice.
The pastor shook his head sadly. "They say they're going to be giving him a medal," He said in a hushed voice. There were gasps from behind me. "And do you know why they're going to give him a medal?" he asked, his voice suddenly as loud as thunder. "Do you know why?"
More screamed replies from the congregation, so many that I couldn't make out any individual's words. I slumped lower in the pew, wondering if the woman at the back had been able to slip out, but not wanting to risk looking back to find out.
"The reason they're going to give him a medal is simple. He's getting that medal because he deserves to receive that medal. He earned that medal, and I would be honoured to be there to shake that young man's hand!"
There was stunned silence, as if nobody could believe what he'd just said, as if all the air had been sucked out of people's lung and they couldn't even gasp again.
"The young man--the young black man who was killed--was all hyped up on drugs. They think it was crack. He'd already taken the life of his own four-year-old son, and he was holding a knife to the throat of that child's mother. He was saying he was going to kill her. the policeman--little more than a boy himself at only twenty-three years of age-- had spent almost two hours trying to talk the man into giving up the knife, into allowing that young black woman to live. At the risk of his own life, he tried to save the lives of both the woman and the man who held her hostage. When he couldn't, when the knife slashed her throat, he had no choice and he fired his gun. But he fired it not to take a life, he fired it to save a life. The life of that young woman. And after firing that fatal shot he then pressed his hands against the throat of that woman, trying to stop her lifeblood from flowing out of her body, through his fingers and onto the group. And he stayed with her--there in the ambulance, and right into the operating room. They say--the doctors who operated on her--that if not for his actions she would certainly have died. And for that he is a hero. Because that girl was not my daughter, but she was my sister."
He pause and took another sip from the glass perched precariously on the edge of the lectern.
"Now, I know what you're thinking. So often has it been an innocent black man killed by a white police officer--the man's crime simple to be black-- a victim of racism, a disease that is crippling this country. But if you think...Think long and hard...weren't you just as guilty of an act of racism when you assumed that the policeman in my story was guilty simple because of the colour of his skin?
"Now, in truth, your thoughts didn't cause a death, but thoughts lead to actions, and actions start to take on a life of their own that could end a life."
[...]
"Look around this world" he continued, "And you can't help but think that God is white..." he paused. "...And brown...and black... and yellow...and red." How cna He not be all of those colours? Is it not written that we are made in the image of God? That unfortunate, troubled young man who was killed was my brother, and so was his child. The young policeman is also my brother. The Woman lying in the hospital is my sister. We are all brothers and sisters."
[..]
"You must resist the urge to strike back. You must turn the other cheek. I believe most of you have heard of that" He looked up and smiled. "You must have the strength not to lash out against them with the same anger and hatred that they use against you. You must have the strength of Gandhi, or of Dr. King. For you must remember that only love can defeat hate. We were put on this planet to love our neighbours as we love ourselves. When you leave this house of worship today, I implore you to leave in peace and love. Reach out your hand, not to strike in anger but to greet in peace."

I think Mr. Smith is right. It's a two-way street and being prejudiced against the prejudice is the new hypocritical black of the 00's.

Such is how I see it.
Alice Dotty.
Chanson du jour: Tomorrow - Avril Lavigne.