So. Sister is going to drop her Major. Well, trying to convince my mom to let her.
Seriously? You already dropped out of/flunked out of another university.
God. Just because this isn't coming naturally to you and you have to actually try. Hello, welcome to the rest of the world. Oh so nice of you to join us.
You can't just quit cuz it's a little bit hard, You've only been to one class.
Suck it up buttercup, you have one more chance to waste the money that's going towards OUR education. Don't make me beat you.
Anyways, School's hard for me right now. (Notice I didn't say "too?" SHE HAS HAS ONE CLASS)
I come home and I have Math EVERYDAY. then I have at least two other subjects with homework : English French or Science. I'm working until 9 at LEAST everyday. Am I switching my courses to academic? NOPE.
It's my oms only dream to have us go to uni. God, why is this so hard for you?
Such is this, suckily
Rain Dots
Chanson du Jour: The Permanent Rain - The Dangerous Summer
Monday, September 21, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Where I go At Night
Where I go At Night
When you’re in bed at night, what do you think about? How your day went? What
you could have done better? What You’ll do tomorrow? Remember the good times? Do
you giggle to yourself?
Cry?
Do you wish someone would find you crying and help you? Do you wish someone would knock on your window, or throw stones? Does it ever happen?
Where do you go at night? Stay in bed? Go to a club? Go someplace secret? Go someplace imaginary? Where do you go at night, what do you do when you’re alone in bed, with your thoughts and regrets and anxiety and hope? I go someplace, that I hate, but I have to go.
When you’re in bed at night, what do you think about? How your day went? What
you could have done better? What You’ll do tomorrow? Remember the good times? Do
you giggle to yourself?
Cry?
Do you wish someone would find you crying and help you? Do you wish someone would knock on your window, or throw stones? Does it ever happen?
Where do you go at night? Stay in bed? Go to a club? Go someplace secret? Go someplace imaginary? Where do you go at night, what do you do when you’re alone in bed, with your thoughts and regrets and anxiety and hope? I go someplace, that I hate, but I have to go.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
A Rose by Any Other Name
When I was little, and in the car I remember looking at the trees and thinking "What if we didn't have any trees? They'd just be called something else. Brekelle or something."
Brekelle is a much better name for Tree.
So Shakespeare, I thought of it first! Haha. Kidding, of course.
And I think the ϛ sound is really nice, and pretty is you write it with a C.
My second born girl, with be
Alice Ann. But other names I've thought of, and really like are
Ciel (with a cédille, of course)
Eli
Jo (for a girl)
Nikki
Hikaru
Kokoro
such is this, to be edited later, Byebye!
Rain
Brekelle is a much better name for Tree.
So Shakespeare, I thought of it first! Haha. Kidding, of course.
And I think the ϛ sound is really nice, and pretty is you write it with a C.
My second born girl, with be
Alice Ann. But other names I've thought of, and really like are
Ciel (with a cédille, of course)
Eli
Jo (for a girl)
Nikki
Hikaru
Kokoro
such is this, to be edited later, Byebye!
Rain
Friday, September 11, 2009
"I won't shut up!" Is what I couldn't say, on account of being shut up.
Grandpa is alive and well.
Today in English, Mrs. Johnson asked us if we knew any heroes, like the ones in "My left foot" (about a guy with cerebal palsy in the 1930's, and his mother never gave up on him and then he wrote with his left foot and wrote several books & poems and his memoir, which is written with a huuuge vocabulary)
And I said my mom was a hero, for the time Grandpa was in the hospital and could only swear and sing in French (my grandpa doesn't speak french) and the doctors said he was going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life, and to pull the plug, and my mom said "He's fighting so we will fight" and moved him to another hospital.
I was crying at the end and didn't continue to the part about how his brain was bleeding recently, and how grandpa is a hero like Christy (the guy in the book) because he is a fighter too. and I didn't get to say that she's also a hero for beating cancer, and picking herself up off the ground after. And I didn't get to say how my dad is a hero because he understood how much I didn't want to be there so he stayed with her. If I had gotten there, I would have had to have left. Right away. Because it was so hard to look at myself on the days that I didn't go to the hospital, and it was hard to look at myself on the days I did, because it made it more real.
When my dog died, She was 7, and should have lived longer, but she died of Cancer. When we found the lump, my mom was a stay-at-home mom and my dad worked too jobs, and we didn't have the money to help her if we could. I kept saying "She can't have it, because she doesn't deserve it." but I think that's when I stopped believing in god, because there was nothing more terrible than killing that dog, who loved us and was loved by us and was there for everything. there was nothing more cruel than taking her away from me when I loved nothing more.
When we took her to the vet, she was okay, but as soon as she was home, comfortable, she was put on the ground and she just felt safe enough to let her gaurd down, and collapsed. We took her back, and the vet said "Is there anyone who wants to leave the room?" Why would he say that? It wasn't an option before he said that. And I made a choice, and the wrong one, and I regret it everyday. I regret leaving my best friend in her last moments, I regret watching my family walk to the car where I was sitting, and I regret being there for so long and not going in! I should have gone in! Why did I even leave?
Ihave to stop now, because My mom is home and I need to stop crying.
But I've been haveing anxiety attacks a lot, and I think crying is good, maybe?
Such is such, for now.
Rain Dots
Chanson du Jour: Everything We Had - The Academy is...
Today in English, Mrs. Johnson asked us if we knew any heroes, like the ones in "My left foot" (about a guy with cerebal palsy in the 1930's, and his mother never gave up on him and then he wrote with his left foot and wrote several books & poems and his memoir, which is written with a huuuge vocabulary)
And I said my mom was a hero, for the time Grandpa was in the hospital and could only swear and sing in French (my grandpa doesn't speak french) and the doctors said he was going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life, and to pull the plug, and my mom said "He's fighting so we will fight" and moved him to another hospital.
I was crying at the end and didn't continue to the part about how his brain was bleeding recently, and how grandpa is a hero like Christy (the guy in the book) because he is a fighter too. and I didn't get to say that she's also a hero for beating cancer, and picking herself up off the ground after. And I didn't get to say how my dad is a hero because he understood how much I didn't want to be there so he stayed with her. If I had gotten there, I would have had to have left. Right away. Because it was so hard to look at myself on the days that I didn't go to the hospital, and it was hard to look at myself on the days I did, because it made it more real.
When my dog died, She was 7, and should have lived longer, but she died of Cancer. When we found the lump, my mom was a stay-at-home mom and my dad worked too jobs, and we didn't have the money to help her if we could. I kept saying "She can't have it, because she doesn't deserve it." but I think that's when I stopped believing in god, because there was nothing more terrible than killing that dog, who loved us and was loved by us and was there for everything. there was nothing more cruel than taking her away from me when I loved nothing more.
When we took her to the vet, she was okay, but as soon as she was home, comfortable, she was put on the ground and she just felt safe enough to let her gaurd down, and collapsed. We took her back, and the vet said "Is there anyone who wants to leave the room?" Why would he say that? It wasn't an option before he said that. And I made a choice, and the wrong one, and I regret it everyday. I regret leaving my best friend in her last moments, I regret watching my family walk to the car where I was sitting, and I regret being there for so long and not going in! I should have gone in! Why did I even leave?
Ihave to stop now, because My mom is home and I need to stop crying.
But I've been haveing anxiety attacks a lot, and I think crying is good, maybe?
Such is such, for now.
Rain Dots
Chanson du Jour: Everything We Had - The Academy is...
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