Can we talk about something?

Adults. And being Bi.
Lets talk about those.

So this one girl who I met over a vegetarian site (Not a dating site, just a vegetarian site)is 36 turning 37 and I'm 15 turning 16.
Well wouldn't you know, she's a lesbian. She's not attracted to me, and she has a girlfriend but she's COMPLETELY freaked out by bisexuality.

She's CONVINCED! You HAVE to choose a gender. and falling in love with a man is 'completely foreign' to her. She told me that to be bi you have to be with someone and wonder what it's like to be with the other gender.
So I told her it's not the Gender, that it's completely not a deciding factor for me. I'm not choosing boy or girl, man or woman, I'm choosing between with that person, or without. If that's being Bi, then I'm not Bi; I'm indifferent.

So she says to me, she says 'Alice my friend. I've heard it all before. It's not about the gender, it's about the person.'

and what I want to say is 'YES, probably because I've said it 20 times in the past half hour.'
but what I say is 'YES, probably because I've said it 20 times in the past half hour.'

(Gotcha there, didn't I?)

So she continued, then started talking about how she doesn't care what the bible said, I said I was scarred as a little kid and was petrified of Christianity.

then she went all crazy on me, super anti-religion!

WHAT are you TALKING TO ME FOR? you're THIRTY SIX!
The last time we had a conversation it was about an animal rights group I started on facebook, and I got all of my friends to join and made this girl admin because she was dedicated to the cause. So she sent out +5 messages to the group within a week and people started to leave, so I told her I'd make a newsletter if she liked and she got SO ANGRY and she flipped out and threatened me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I want to delete her, but I can't while she's still talking to me....


Why do adults you don't know always shut you down? You'd think she'd be accepting, considering she's a Lesbian Vegan, and I'm a bi vegetarian.
Like, I expect the old ladies at my sailing camp who run the girl guides program to tell me I'm going to rebel against my mom and she has right to get angry and it's just a phase and that's why I'm vegetarian, but a Vegan Lesbian? Really? YOU'RE going to tell me I'm wrong? You'd think that she'd understand that what's right for you is right for you, or at least she'd know that it doesn't matter what other people say.

It's disgusting, doesn't anyone understand? THERE'S NO PATHWAY! ITS JUST A FIELD AND YOU GET TO RUN FREE! HERE you can do, or say, or BE! ANYTHING you want!

Just Shuttup and enjoy it!

Rain Dots

OHMYGOODNESSGRACIOUSME.

So, http://www.outinthewind.com/ is how I feel tonight.

rafael rozendaal, you amaze me.

History Is Written by the Winners.

Think about it.
It is, isn't it?

1903, Naval dispute.
Britain is in a war with south Africa, over gold and Diamonds.
Newly independent Canada is asked to send money to help Britains navy. This seems fair, right? I mean, We DO depend on their Navy still, we don't have our own.
My Canadian textbook says Sir Wilfrid Laurier denied the request, saying that sending money would include us in a senseless war not our own. Instead he put money towards our own navy that we weren't expecting to use anyways, so it was okay that it was pathetic.

We were involved in the war? No. Should we have gotten involved? No. What did we gain? Independence. What did we lose? Dependency.

But In Britain's textbook, what would it say? It would say Canada was ungrateful and backed out at the last second and made a laughable excuse for a navy. Maybe mention the outrage in Anglo-saxon Canadians and how Laurier was a French Canadian and it Biased his opinion, and the euro-Canadians were oppressed by him.

Think about it.

I tell you that My friends left me alone in the dark as I went door-to-door for Heart & Stroke foundation because I was finished before them so I would do some extra houses to stay together. Instead, they left without telling me. Left as in, they went home, cozy in their heated, sheltered houses. As I stood in blasting winds and icy snow.
Where do I win?

You're on my side now aren't you? You're thinking my friends are total douche bags. (And you'd be right) But where do they come in? Where do they get to say "We definitely didn't know she had her phone on her or think to try calling her because there wasn't a blizzard outside and there's no chance of anything bad happening to her. Nothing bad happens to her." (For the record, It was dark, I had already texted them and they responded that night, there was a blizzard raging ALL NIGHT and the wind was loud enough they wouldn't hear me scream)(So loud, in fact, that they didn't hear me calling their names as I chased them halfway down the street, but somehow I could hear their conversation perfectly. Hm. Buddy system? Thanks for looking out, guys.)

Anyways. So where's Britains opinion come in? Where's Canada's opinion come in?

Well This Is Canada.
Well This Is Alice.
And This, Is me.
And apparently, my well being,
safety, self, friendship,
means nothing to them.
Because they do this to me all the time.

Alice Dotty.

New Picture

I like it's innocence.
I like it's anonymity.
I like it.

I like that the shirt doesn't hug me, just comforts me.
I like that I like that.

Sisterhood of The sisterhood

My three friends and I realized we're all represented by a girl in the sisterhood of the traveling pants.

I am Tibby.
Jaded. Secretive.

If only they knew. If only Tibby knew, that her style is awesome and she has so much courage for wearing it.
If only she new she was lucky to be born into a group of friends because it's really hard to make friends without alcohol or partying or drugs or bonding over idiocy ("Haha, omg I totally failed that math test." "OHMYGOD ME TOO!" "Well, don't worry about it, math sucks" "Def.")

And if only my friends knew that they're not much like any of those characters because they stand up for themselves, whereas my friends get mad and do nothing. Sometimes they talk. About you. Behind your back. To the others. Who also get mad at you. But they never tell you why they're mad.
Oh.

And If only my friends did stand up for themselves, because maybe they'd have a clue about what they should do with their problems, and maybe they could help me with mine sometimes.
No.

I love them, I love them, I had a great time tonight. Except they left at 10:30 and it wasn't nearly enough time to dance or play in the freshly fallen snow that showed up when they did.
Not nearly enough.

And now I'm under pressure to pick my courses. And to get a job. But no one will help me.
Sometimes, you just need some help, right?
Everyone needs help.
Not everyone needs to be pushed away.

Tibby, Tibby, Tibby. Just tell them how scared you are.
(They Won't get it, they've never done this)

Just tell them you need some support.
(They'll think I'm being selfish)

Will they?
(Yes. And they'll be right)

How do you know?
(I know.)

Have you ever tried it?
(No. I never, ever will. Not ever, never.)

Never say Never, Tibby.
()

Try it, Tibby. Just hint.
(It always makes things awkward.)

Tibby!
(What?)

Just try it!
(I can't. It'll ruin everything.)

-transmission ended-

Like, Like you don't even know, you don't even know, You'll Never know!

You knew, you know, just don't forget.
Why won't it last?

Why'd you walk that way
When you were supposed to stay.
You just walked away.

Faster than I could climb out of this
Stupid hole.
I'm here because of you,
Supposed connected souls.

We're supposed to be Forte,
to the world's Pianissimo.

Two Rebels in the world with some place to go.
But more like, two different people with different loves to sew,
no fields of roses, no wars no reason to be ungrateful.
Hateful,
Waiting on the rest,
the best,
while her chest,
finds a way to drag her back.

You won't know,
Why I won't tell you,
About what you don't want to hear.

I'm a satelite heart.

Lost in the dark.
So close to stars.




Can't there just be a boy who's unconditional?
Or girl.
Someone? Anyone?

Really?

No matter what you do,
I'll be true to you.

But no one's listening, no one cares.
Just empty hallways filled with blank stares.

Lionel, please come back.


Rain Dots