Keep On Counting Stars

Brittany's Dad's Funeral was today.

I drove Kayla and Slater, and holy shit. I expected it'd be easier because I didn't know her dad, but as soon as you walk in and Brittany's half crying and her mom actually is crying and her brother is somewhere between the two, I realized I was really wrong.

We walked in and said hello to Brittany but waited outside for the rest of the DHS crew to show up. Potts, Sarah, Sarah P, Celina, Shannon, Casey, Ryan, Jamie, Christie, Ricci, Dever, Dixon, Micheal F + that gang (Probably forgetting some) showed up at different times.

Me and Slater went in first to get out of the way, pay our respects.
Earlier, Brittany had mentioned cremation because her mom said he was cold, always cold so they would make him warm again. I assumed he'd be cremated, but he wasn't. It was a closed casket but when Slater and I walked up it was really weird to know he was there....but he wasn't.

And there was a huge bouquet with white ribbons that said 'Husband' and 'Father' in gold, and a bouquet below that said 'Brother' and two more behind him. They were all huge, and beautiful. I saw the pictures of Brittany with her dad, her dad with Chris (her brother), his wedding photo, and he became a person -that was loved- to me. Genna started crying behind me and I barely looked at the pictures because it hurt. Michelle cried and Slater who had kinda been crying the whole time was right behind me as we booked it out of there. We stood outside, and in the foyer, and in the hallway, and set up chairs a bit before the service started around 11:11. Last night I wished that Brittany would cry today, and I got that. Today I wished this would help her. I don't know if I'll get that, or if I already have.

The service started in a song about God art Great or something, and no one sang along from our school, mostly because even though the words are there, unless you go to church (Which most of us don't) you still can't sing along.

Donald Waite, 51, was oldest of three, his youngest sibling spoke first. Liz talked about how he would look out for her and he almost beat up her bully and helped her ride a two-wheel and how he was so chill. She cried at the end when talking about the bully, but got it together and said he was very proud of his family and always talked about them on Thursday nights with the boys.

Next his neighbors did a poem about him growing up and his family and such.

Then his younger Brother, Ed (I think?) did a thing about how he was good with Technology and building sheds and things Mike Holmes would be proud of, how he wanted to know how everything worked 'and I just wanted to know if it worked.' He said he was chill and always talked about Brittany and Chris and how proud he was of them.

Then the minister got up and did her 'when Moses asked what his name was, he replied 'I am who I am' but new translations are 'I am there'' or something, I don't know. I spent the entire rest of that counting to ten in French, German, Japanese, Korean and English. I put my fingers together like Mr. Burns and used my right hand to count 1-5 and my left 6-10. I must have started saying them because Jamie kept looking at me funny but I never looked back at him. Me him and Michelle hugged (awkwardly, because we stood on a bench at the back of the balcony with the rest of the kids)

When the casket was being carried out, Bagpipes started and a woman on the front row of the balcony sobbed violently. We thought it was Brittany for a bit, which made me almost fall apart but I kept thinking I had to keep it together because I couldn't have Brittany looking out for me, too. She would, you know.

We went outside and the hearse was gone (Brittany's Status for today: & as the Hurse pulled away, a butterfly flew back to us, over the crowd, past my family, and straight up. I love you, Daddy ♥ ) but I didn't see that.
Jamie was crying sort of Hard, and Slater never looked up, and I went to give Shannon a hug only to notice she was actually crying sort of hard too. I even gave Micheal a hug.

Eventually we went inside and downstairs, ate some veggies n dip, fruit, cupcakes, brownies, ect ect, (lifestyles blueberry cookies or something. Fucking GOOD) and Genna and Michelle tried to guess who likes Brittany but I wouldn't tell even though it's painfully obvious. PAINFULLY. And he kept asking what she was doing this weekend. Hello? NOT the time, maybe? And I already told him that there's someone else, but he doesn't seem to care. PUMP YOUR BREAKS, HOMBRE. Shit.

Me and Slater were the last to leave, I picked up flute 6 because mine is broken (Dropped it on Thursday, 2nd 2nd key is broken so I can't play D. It'll be fixed on Friday, but I'm screwed till then. Exams on the 15. WOOFREAKINGHOO) and Slater handed in his History, but mine wasn't done. So I finished it at 3:30 ish and sent it to mrs. Lyons. I gotta fake the research Protfolio still though. Meh. And I have a sociology ISU still....

Fuck that. I went to Tae Kwon do testing, to support Keenan and Colleen who tested, but I didn't. (I was supposed to be camping, but it got rained out) Colleen got triple promotion to yellow, no mistakes. Keenan made a mistake on one-step sparring 14, and 16, and couldn't break his boards but his terminology was double blackstripe so he got a double promotion to single red stripe.

They asked Colleen to count to ten in Korean, and I started to cry then, because I counted to ten in Korean to keep strong in the service. I pulled it together by concentrating on the terminology he asked her.

Distract, Distract, Distract.

But when I came back I just felt shitty. I changed my status to something like 'I'll be at the park at Fairport if anyone wants someone to cry with tonight' but when I got there there were a bunch of eighters so I walked around the Plaza like I had somewhere to go to then walked back, I went to the smokers place on the traintrack shortcut but bugs were pissing me off so I waited for a train to go by, recorded it, got scared by the sound it makes as it passes, wondered why I needed that, then left. I walked around some, intending to go to the beach where the fallen tree is, maybe to the secret place with tables (but that'd make me think of the day Sarah S left me there) but got to Westshore and mom called to say burgers were on the grill.

The entire time through Dinner dad was saying "You okay kiddo?" "What's wrong?" and mom kept saying "Do you want some Greek Salad, Kayle?"

Dad, fuck, I'm fine. Bugger off. He said "What's got you down? The funeral" "Nothing, but I'm tired." "Why?" "I couldn't sleep" "Because of the funeral?" "No, I haven't slept well lately." "Because of Her dad?"

FUCK OFF ALREADY, GOD. TAKE. A. HINT.

And Mom must have asked me if I wanted Greek salad 5 times. Then she was telling me there's green tea stuff downstairs and lychee stuff on the fridge door and lemonade and five alive.

Yeah, I noticed. I kinda live here too. It's like when we're a restaurant and she keeps reading me the menu and I say "I'm on the same page as you" (a.k.a. Yeah, I got that. That's the point in the Menu. So I can read it.) or she moves my stuff and says 'there's a movie here' (just happened) Yeah, I got that. It's in my pile of stuff. I put it there. I rented it yesterday from the Library (Mononoke) and oh lawdy, if she tells me to do homeowrk, or that I should plan something this weekend (even though I haven't been at home for two weekends, I was supposed to be at camp this weekend, and she knows I'll be spending all day on sociology) I'm going to flip. my. shit.

I texted Kayla who was at the funeral but she's at her dads, Jamie doesn't really care. I think he's got his own problems.

I don't know, all this is bringing up stuff I never dealt with with my mom. Like everyone is there for Brittany, and no one was or is there for me. I need to get my act together, be less condescending, quieter, realize I don't ALWAYS have to say something, more generous, and mind peoples privacy.

I have to get used to the idea that people just don't like me as much as I'd like to think. Which I should know, because I've known that all my life.

Alice

Don't Worry.

Talked to my Gos sis on the weekend (It was a convention :) )and we talked about how my mom can get pushy and wig out over nothing, but I'm still chill, I always think it'll work out.

Well Today I was super exhausted because of the busy weekend. In Sociology, My debate group didn't know what our topic was.

Hello? We've had a week for this? Did no one do research? Crap. Just me?

Wow, okay.

Well so I had to explain the entire thing, all of our arguments, and all of our research and how we didn't have a fifth argument, which we needed.

So I got home, all frustrated and upset and in a panic. I put on the homework playlist and the first song is 'don't worry, I'm yours'

And then I figured out, that's what a debate is all about. You don't have to know what you're talking about, you have to LOOK like you do.

And Girl, you know I'm King Shit at acting. So I'm all 'K. We're good.'

And now we're doing awesome. (Still going to do most of the project, but I'm not not going to Tae Kwon Do to get it done. That's not my problem, I've got my stuff done.)


Alice

I prefer to stand, you take your seat.

Bought a CD (Sufjan Stevens, Come on! Feel the Illonoise!)
Bought two books (This is your brain on music, Bears, Boys, and a serious pair of hiking boots.)

Got asked out by a grade 12 Girl,
Denied said girl,
got yelled at for being asked out by a grade 12 Girl.

Got made fun of for liking my parents,
Got made fun of by my parents.

Made tortillas.
Want to make my cooking blog a dual-blog with my other Vegetarian friend who has had my Butts Bible since she went veg :/

Getting my hair cut on Monday.

Love the Polyphonic spree.



BLEH!
Alice

Legitimately

Just got back from Cuba, which was awesome. Only now I think everyone is tired of each other, so I sit here on a Friday doing a History essay that was actually Due on Wednesday, but I got an extension because I can't keep up in my other classes.

Uhg.


Dixon and I watched Sybil today, and I bought my Mother's day present (The new American eagle Perfume, 15$) Plus I'll make her waffles & fruit - Mommy's favorite.
(Maybe those two thoughts aren't exactly good together. Mothers Day and Sybil....heh...)

During the part where Dr. Willard walks through the empty house in Willow Corners, Dixon half-shouted 'Alice, Where's your foot!?'and reached for it, but my legs were folded. Instead we huddles in the middle of the couch as she made quick-paced small talk. I told her nothing jumps out, like in the cat nightmare scene, but watching it for the second time this week even I was freaking. Didn't help there was a huge storm. Or that I had the lights out. Teehee.

Same goes for the Realization hypnosis scene. I felt like throwing up. When she wretched around on the grass and jerked away from touch my eyes stung and I wanted to leave. Or Punch Mrs. Dorsette and Dr. Quinous. What a bitch! If you see scrape marks in the vaginal walls of a 2-and-a-half year old, you don't let her go home to her mother! That's fucked up!

But Dixon's gone now, and I feel like I wasted a Friday, even though she was here for a long time and we had a good time, and I've gotten a lot done on my essay, and bought my Mother's day Present.

Everyone always hates on Mondays, but is it so terrible if I don't like Fridays? They're just always the day I feel everyone is annoyed with me. Though, Better it be Friday than Monday. If people are annoyed with me, they can pretend I don't exist for two days.

BLEH!
Alice

Alien

I took a quiz on Facebook and this is what it told me. (Well, this is the part that matters):

"Sometimes you feel a bit lonely, thinking you are unwanted or an outcast, but no need to worry, there is always someone out there, sleeping under the same sky as you, breathing the same air as you, and thinking if they will ever find anyone. There is always one special person out there made for us!"


..........Oh.






Alice.

'What shall I do today?' 'You should fly.' 'Alas, I lack the angel wings.' 'For now.'

Ugh, I think I like this boy named Trevor, but he probably doesn't like me back. And my mom thinks Andrew Wright likes me (Really, mom?! REALLY?! Seriously.) Well, I can't really do anything about either because Andrew asks out anyone he thinks will say yes and has asked out at least two people this year.

Hm, that sounded whore-ish-y in my head, but I suppose it's not at all is it? So what if he has, it just means he's a loving guy. but he fer sher doesn't like me. He told his ex that he wasn't sure I was into guys (Not in the lesbian way. in the 'undateable' way) and one of my friends, Ryan, told me he made a vow to never give a compliment to a Dotty. My sister and I apparently give off heavy 'I don't take compliments well' vibe.

Plus, Michelle S. already kissed Trevor and confided in me at how upset and hurt she was that Katherine liked him and wanted to go for him. She always does that to her! I can't even fathom why Michelle would want to be friends with her, when Katherine just walks all over Michelle. When Katherine saw that me and Trevor were getting along she started being all nice to me. Hello, I'm not Michelle. That's not cool with me. Michelle is much more patient than I am. (Yet at the same time, not so good at meeting people. Ex: Sandro.)

Anyways. Whatever.
Michelle asked me to please not fall for Trevor. Because she's 'over him' but Katherine would kill me. But she didn't say 'Don't fall for Trevor or Katherine will Kill you.' she said 'Please don't fall for Trevor.' 'Well I wouldn't break the friends' code.' 'Friends code? I don't like him anymore. But Katherine will kill you.'

Do you know what I said? It came naturally.
'Michelle, seriously. I'm Alice. When was the last time someone Liked me and I liked them?'

Even I know I'm pathetic, don't I?

Well, such is Alice.

Are you Happy? Are you satisfied? How long can you stand the heat? Out of the doorway the bullets Rip, to the sound of the beat.

Yeah, That's right. I listen to Queen,
I saw the broadway show.

And you know what? They make a point. Cast off the crutch people, It's time to get serious. I hate apathy! It's more of a killer than any disease! Not even ignorance.

I'm talking global warming people. Get off your asses, find out what you can do.
Change your light bulbs, set your temp to go down when you're not in the house, (Like 9-4:30 mon-fri. Think about it, who're you keeping warm? Animals survive winters, they can take 95F.) don't leave the tap on while you're brushing your teeth, eat one less meaty meal a week, eat locally (It's fall in Ontario and you're buying apples from the states? REALLY?) and here's something really simple that teens are good at: Write on your hands. Seriously, think how big that 9x11 is and how little you need to write on it. Get an agenda for the whole year or a white board or something, just don't be so stupid! And by the way, if you write it in pencil, you can erase it and use it again! Or get a recycled paper notepad at least!

I want less rain in the wrong places but more rain overall! Stoppit!
Alice

P.s. My birthday was yesterday; consider this my present. PLEASE!

Can we talk about something?

Adults. And being Bi.
Lets talk about those.

So this one girl who I met over a vegetarian site (Not a dating site, just a vegetarian site)is 36 turning 37 and I'm 15 turning 16.
Well wouldn't you know, she's a lesbian. She's not attracted to me, and she has a girlfriend but she's COMPLETELY freaked out by bisexuality.

She's CONVINCED! You HAVE to choose a gender. and falling in love with a man is 'completely foreign' to her. She told me that to be bi you have to be with someone and wonder what it's like to be with the other gender.
So I told her it's not the Gender, that it's completely not a deciding factor for me. I'm not choosing boy or girl, man or woman, I'm choosing between with that person, or without. If that's being Bi, then I'm not Bi; I'm indifferent.

So she says to me, she says 'Alice my friend. I've heard it all before. It's not about the gender, it's about the person.'

and what I want to say is 'YES, probably because I've said it 20 times in the past half hour.'
but what I say is 'YES, probably because I've said it 20 times in the past half hour.'

(Gotcha there, didn't I?)

So she continued, then started talking about how she doesn't care what the bible said, I said I was scarred as a little kid and was petrified of Christianity.

then she went all crazy on me, super anti-religion!

WHAT are you TALKING TO ME FOR? you're THIRTY SIX!
The last time we had a conversation it was about an animal rights group I started on facebook, and I got all of my friends to join and made this girl admin because she was dedicated to the cause. So she sent out +5 messages to the group within a week and people started to leave, so I told her I'd make a newsletter if she liked and she got SO ANGRY and she flipped out and threatened me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? I want to delete her, but I can't while she's still talking to me....


Why do adults you don't know always shut you down? You'd think she'd be accepting, considering she's a Lesbian Vegan, and I'm a bi vegetarian.
Like, I expect the old ladies at my sailing camp who run the girl guides program to tell me I'm going to rebel against my mom and she has right to get angry and it's just a phase and that's why I'm vegetarian, but a Vegan Lesbian? Really? YOU'RE going to tell me I'm wrong? You'd think that she'd understand that what's right for you is right for you, or at least she'd know that it doesn't matter what other people say.

It's disgusting, doesn't anyone understand? THERE'S NO PATHWAY! ITS JUST A FIELD AND YOU GET TO RUN FREE! HERE you can do, or say, or BE! ANYTHING you want!

Just Shuttup and enjoy it!

Rain Dots

OHMYGOODNESSGRACIOUSME.

So, http://www.outinthewind.com/ is how I feel tonight.

rafael rozendaal, you amaze me.

History Is Written by the Winners.

Think about it.
It is, isn't it?

1903, Naval dispute.
Britain is in a war with south Africa, over gold and Diamonds.
Newly independent Canada is asked to send money to help Britains navy. This seems fair, right? I mean, We DO depend on their Navy still, we don't have our own.
My Canadian textbook says Sir Wilfrid Laurier denied the request, saying that sending money would include us in a senseless war not our own. Instead he put money towards our own navy that we weren't expecting to use anyways, so it was okay that it was pathetic.

We were involved in the war? No. Should we have gotten involved? No. What did we gain? Independence. What did we lose? Dependency.

But In Britain's textbook, what would it say? It would say Canada was ungrateful and backed out at the last second and made a laughable excuse for a navy. Maybe mention the outrage in Anglo-saxon Canadians and how Laurier was a French Canadian and it Biased his opinion, and the euro-Canadians were oppressed by him.

Think about it.

I tell you that My friends left me alone in the dark as I went door-to-door for Heart & Stroke foundation because I was finished before them so I would do some extra houses to stay together. Instead, they left without telling me. Left as in, they went home, cozy in their heated, sheltered houses. As I stood in blasting winds and icy snow.
Where do I win?

You're on my side now aren't you? You're thinking my friends are total douche bags. (And you'd be right) But where do they come in? Where do they get to say "We definitely didn't know she had her phone on her or think to try calling her because there wasn't a blizzard outside and there's no chance of anything bad happening to her. Nothing bad happens to her." (For the record, It was dark, I had already texted them and they responded that night, there was a blizzard raging ALL NIGHT and the wind was loud enough they wouldn't hear me scream)(So loud, in fact, that they didn't hear me calling their names as I chased them halfway down the street, but somehow I could hear their conversation perfectly. Hm. Buddy system? Thanks for looking out, guys.)

Anyways. So where's Britains opinion come in? Where's Canada's opinion come in?

Well This Is Canada.
Well This Is Alice.
And This, Is me.
And apparently, my well being,
safety, self, friendship,
means nothing to them.
Because they do this to me all the time.

Alice Dotty.

New Picture

I like it's innocence.
I like it's anonymity.
I like it.

I like that the shirt doesn't hug me, just comforts me.
I like that I like that.

Sisterhood of The sisterhood

My three friends and I realized we're all represented by a girl in the sisterhood of the traveling pants.

I am Tibby.
Jaded. Secretive.

If only they knew. If only Tibby knew, that her style is awesome and she has so much courage for wearing it.
If only she new she was lucky to be born into a group of friends because it's really hard to make friends without alcohol or partying or drugs or bonding over idiocy ("Haha, omg I totally failed that math test." "OHMYGOD ME TOO!" "Well, don't worry about it, math sucks" "Def.")

And if only my friends knew that they're not much like any of those characters because they stand up for themselves, whereas my friends get mad and do nothing. Sometimes they talk. About you. Behind your back. To the others. Who also get mad at you. But they never tell you why they're mad.
Oh.

And If only my friends did stand up for themselves, because maybe they'd have a clue about what they should do with their problems, and maybe they could help me with mine sometimes.
No.

I love them, I love them, I had a great time tonight. Except they left at 10:30 and it wasn't nearly enough time to dance or play in the freshly fallen snow that showed up when they did.
Not nearly enough.

And now I'm under pressure to pick my courses. And to get a job. But no one will help me.
Sometimes, you just need some help, right?
Everyone needs help.
Not everyone needs to be pushed away.

Tibby, Tibby, Tibby. Just tell them how scared you are.
(They Won't get it, they've never done this)

Just tell them you need some support.
(They'll think I'm being selfish)

Will they?
(Yes. And they'll be right)

How do you know?
(I know.)

Have you ever tried it?
(No. I never, ever will. Not ever, never.)

Never say Never, Tibby.
()

Try it, Tibby. Just hint.
(It always makes things awkward.)

Tibby!
(What?)

Just try it!
(I can't. It'll ruin everything.)

-transmission ended-

Like, Like you don't even know, you don't even know, You'll Never know!

You knew, you know, just don't forget.
Why won't it last?

Why'd you walk that way
When you were supposed to stay.
You just walked away.

Faster than I could climb out of this
Stupid hole.
I'm here because of you,
Supposed connected souls.

We're supposed to be Forte,
to the world's Pianissimo.

Two Rebels in the world with some place to go.
But more like, two different people with different loves to sew,
no fields of roses, no wars no reason to be ungrateful.
Hateful,
Waiting on the rest,
the best,
while her chest,
finds a way to drag her back.

You won't know,
Why I won't tell you,
About what you don't want to hear.

I'm a satelite heart.

Lost in the dark.
So close to stars.




Can't there just be a boy who's unconditional?
Or girl.
Someone? Anyone?

Really?

No matter what you do,
I'll be true to you.

But no one's listening, no one cares.
Just empty hallways filled with blank stares.

Lionel, please come back.


Rain Dots

Alien

You might get cancer, and you might be ridiculed.
But if nothing else will cheer you up,

Just know.
Know today, know today, know today
That you're gonna die anyway, anyway, anyways.

I just want you to be alright, be alright, be alright.
I don't care so much about me.

Is your heart broken?
Brisez un couer?

If your world over?
Der Letzte Tag?

Is No one listening?
Ne Ecoutez personne?

Shut up, buck up. Once you think It's not about you it never will be. It's not about me, I know that. But we all have our moments of weakness, don't we? You jsut want a hug, to make it all go away.

Well whose arms will touch me? It's not about me anyways. No one likes the cameo, Just realize it and start living like you know that.

No One Likes a Nobody. Just Realize it And Star Living Like You've Noticed.

-Rain Dots

It's Not far Away, but For Now we Say:

Peace.

i know this pretty rave girl.

Cuba is coming up, in 100 DAYS! I'm super excited.
Bunking with Best friend since G.2, Kayla : )

Anyways, I'm Getting in shape by playing DDR on Heavy with a long sleeve shirt (Cotton, to catch the sweat) a sweater, leggings, thick socks, and sweat pants.
But I'm drinking plenty of water, no need to worry.

But I really need to start eating less at meals and eat more often. And stop snacking!
Here's my commitment:
Nothing but Water and Tea.
Make dinner when I get home, eat half of my serving then, and half when everyone else gets home.
No starch at night, and
More watery and dark green veggies.
And PLAN MEALS AHEAD.
THERE.
that's my diet. : )

Such is probably going to fail, shortly.
GO ALICE!

Chanson Du Jour: My Humps - Black Eyed Peas
; )

Vrai Ou Foe?

I met a girl last year through a friend and we became fast friends. I'm not going to mention her name because even though She'll probably know who I'm talking about, I don't want everyone else to know.

Anyways, we connected because we were both different and found a sense of community in that. But this year, she's made a bunch of new friends and even though we still talk, it's not as much as before.
And I'm getting really tired of her, it's exhausting to be her friend.
She's always upset. Always. She comes to me, vents, I give her advice, she doesn't take it, says something rude, I ignore it because she's upset, she does the same thing a week later.

She's been cheated on by every boy she looks at, and one boy said "we were never dating" and she was like "Yeah, sorry I overreacted" when she told me that they were dating for a week and she found out he had 5 other ONLINE girlfriends.
and then he said stuff like "they're crazy, I love you." So yeah, definitely SOUNDS like you weren't dating the SECOND TIME HE DID IT.

so she stopped talking to him, or else I would have beaten both of them.
But now theyre friends again, and her latest addiction is mad at her.

He's from far away, they met on Myspace, and the lies he's told her are as follows:
1) all of these pictures are of me
2)I have a child (Not sure if he does, but at one point he said both so either way he lied about something)
3)You logged on and told me mean things.
4) Oh, then it must have been your friend
5) I'm not dating someone else
6) I love you
7) I'm killing myself tonight
8) I attempted suicide last night
9) I'm moving into a psych ward.
10)I'm comming to visit you

and they ALL HAPPENED AT DIFFERENT TIMES. (except 3 & 4) and it hurts her deeply, or she pretends it does, and she's depressed for like, 3 days, then she forgives him and he does something else.

SOMETHING TELLS ME TO DROP HIM, FUCKTARD! And they got in a fight and he's "Deleted her, and his last 5 statuses were about me, and he says he wants to kill me, then himself"

And I'm so angry at her, this happens every time and she won't listen to what I say, plus she was rude to my friend, plus she 'falls' for every guy that says she's cute, plus shes rude to me.

I'm admitting to you, random strangers, that I have eczema. My skin flakes around my eyes and bridge of my nose, I see it, I know it's there, I try to make it go away, but it's eczema. It doesn't just go away when you put cream on it 3+ times a day.
But she seems to think I don't know its there so she constantly reminds me "Put cream on your face. It's gross." or "you're not wearing enough makeup." and will make fun of me because "What the point in wearing makeup if people can't see it?
It's supposed to enhance natural beauty, not make you look like you got in a fight, dumbass.

I am SO mad at you right now! I cannot believe you're talking to them again! Why do you even care? Why don't you care about your friends? Do we not say you're pretty enough times in the day? So here it is.
FUCK. YOU.
I'm done.

Such is how she is!
Alice

chanson du Jour: Friend or Foe by T.a.t.U.

BLANK NATION

Chemical nation,
Fast food Nation,
Blah blah blah.

Show me some support,
Show me something to change.

Just don't sit on the couch watching people fatter than your admittedly fat self and complain about being fat. Try getting off the couch and stop watching those shows and then you'll see a difference and you'll get some right to complain.

Gosh, It's just about the stupidest thing.
I told my parents I want to diet, I mean I'm not over weight and my BMI is almost perfect, but I just wanna lose some weight around my waist and thighs, what's so wrong with that? don't shove me down cuz I'm tired of taking that. Either you support me or you don't, so just choose and get on with it, I don't care anymore!


Going through my notebook I read something I wrote:
"Be there or don't, I don't care what you think anymore. Your mouths move so often it's hard to focus on what you're saying; you've lost my respect."

Such is how they are.
Alice.

p.s. I'm going Snowboarding with Alessandro, Michelle Scho, and Katherine tomorrow.
We're stalking another one of Michelle's crushes.